Friendship

I am privileged, it seems, to have a small handful of friends that I could say anything to, and they would still be my friend. By anything, I don't mean that I could go all ballistic on them, and say I hate them, and be mean to them. Although sometimes I even wonder about that. But I'm not going to try it. What I do mean is speaking my thoughts about things. I know this because I have done it, and to my surprise, they continue to stick around. So I guess I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself in the friend department, because I am blessed and lucky to have good friends.

I have recently been asked by one of these good friends of mine, why is it so difficult as adults to make and maintain friendships. I told her I did not know, but that's only because I didn't give it much thought. So I decided to think about it some more. And here are my conclusions. You see friendship of any kind takes work. It's obvious to say that work and family crowds out friendship. But we make time for the things we care about. I can usually tell how important I am to somebody if they will at least once in awhile make time for me.

We think we are so sophisticated as adults. We think that because now we put away childish things and ideas, we are so mature. I think we are all the same children in adult bodies and the only thing we did was trade in the belief in the magical for the idea that everything is ordinary and mundane. We traded in fantasy for "reality". Does that really appeal to you? Does that really sound like an upgrade to you? It feels like a trap to me, and a definite downgrade. I have a point and I will tie this all together. In fact, I would like go more in depth in another post into the world of children vs. the world of adults. But for the purposes of this post, let me say, I don't think we were meant to be mundane, whether as adults or children. It's why we escape in movies and books. They speak to us. We want to go on those adventures, if only in our minds. The heart wishes it was brave enough to be those people who do those things.

And that is how we used to relate to our friends as children. We would play pretend, and it was easy. How often do you remember talking about heavy topics with your friends as children? I hardly ever did. We were always laughing, or swimming, or having fun. Now as an adult, I alternate between talking about really deep topics, which I find I really enjoy, or playing games, or watching movies. The games and movies are just ways of playing pretend. So you see, I haven't grown up all the way at all. Playing pretend is still part of the glue that keeps my relationships together, although it may not be the only part. Because as much as I like to discuss really deep things, I think my friends can only take so much.

So to tie this all up, I would just like to say, you may be all grown up, but remember to be a kid at heart, and don't lose sight of the magic life has to offer. It may be hidden, but it's there if you look for it. Just more thoughts from the mind of Crystal.

by: Crystal Nylander